I hope everyone had a nice Mother’s Day!
I started thinking about mothering and parenting, and what some of the most important features of good parenting are. These are some suggestions that I have followed. They are based on Dinkmeyer and McKay’s book, STEP (Systematic Training for Effective Parenting), which is based on Rudolph Dreikurs’ work.
1. Do not do for children what they are capable of doing themselves.
2. Be kind, showing respect for your children. Overprotecting and or dominating/controlling are disrespectful to your children. Listen and tune into your children, showing them you understand their feelings.
3. Teach your children to be responsible.
4. If they misbehave, try to understand the goal or purpose of the misbehavior. Give them choices within limits and let them experience the consequences of their choices. Use natural and/or logical consequences instead of punishment (more about this another time).
5. Be encouraging to your children. If you show you have faith in them, they will learn to believe in themselves. Be sure to point out the positive aspects of their efforts instead of expecting perfection or focusing on their mistakes.
6. Help your children to feel useful by having them contribute to the family and to the household. Have regular family meetings to discuss issues in the family, to distribute chores fairly, and to express positive feelings toward one another.