Is it Possible to Trust after Betrayal?
Trust is the foundation of all relationships. Betrayal is often a shattering experience, destroying self-esteem and breeding insecurity and self-doubt. It is often shocking and causes intense heartache, pain, and subsequent rage.
Here are some ideas that can help you trust again:
- Get support: Ask yourself who will best support you—-family, friends, a therapist, or a support group. When you share your feelings, it helps to release the pain.
- Act with Intention: Consider whether/when/how to confront the person who betrayed you. When you think it through in advance and act with intention, you can affect the entire healing process. As you weigh your options, think about the pros and cons of holding on to your anger and resentment vs. forgiving the person who betrayed you.
- Make peace with yourself: Stop blaming yourself, so you can start to trust yourself again. Instead of negative self-statements (such as “I am an idiot” or “I am a loser,”), start telling yourself self-loving statements, such as “I am whole,” or “I am loveable.”
It takes a lot of courage and perseverance to move past the trauma of broken trust. However, once you have reconciled with yourself and perhaps with the person who betrayed you, you can move into a new realm of intimacy with yourself and with others.
Feel free to call me (973-220-9007) for some helpful books on the subject of healing after betrayal.