Thanksgiving is most people’s favorite holiday. Many people tend to have an idealized image of what the holiday should be like (or distorted memories of previous Thanksgiving holidays in years past). Holidays are among the most stressful times of year. As our expectations rise so do our stress levels, and so do our disappointments and let-downs. When people are feeling stressed, they often behave at their worst. Add alcohol to the mix, and family gatherings can become emotionally loaded, potential minefields. Every family is unique. No family is perfect. Do not buy into the myth of the perfect family or the perfect holiday, or you will end up disappointed and distressed.
With that in mind, here are some tips that may help:
- If you have family members who do not get along, use place cards to assign seats, in order to separate them.
- Treat your family members with the same kindness and respect that you would treat your friends.
- Don’t allow other family members to “trigger” you. If you feel attacked, take some deep breaths and a brief time-out if needed.
- It can also be useful to assign a person to “handle” each family troublemaker, someone who can smooth over nasty remarks, water down the overconsumer’s drinks, or use humor to de-escalate a prickly situation.
Make Thanksgiving your favorite holiday by lowering your expectations, by planning ahead to avoid or handle the troublemakers, and to focus on what you are truly grateful for.