Deciding whether or not to commit to a relationship is one of the most important decisions of your life. Pat Love, in The Truth About Love, suggests taking a close, soul-searching look at your relationship.
Here are some key questions she suggests that you ask yourself:
- Are you certain that this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with?
- If somehow you inherited fifty million dollars, would you stay in this relationship?
- If you knew for sure you were going to live to age 100 and be in good health, is this the person you would want to spend the rest of your life with?
- Are you completely honest about your spending?
- Do you consult each other on important matters?
- Do you weigh personal decisions against implications for you and your partner?
- Do you take responsibility for repairing damage to your relationship?
- Would it be really difficult for you to lose this relationship?
- Do you feel 100% clear about staying in this relationship?
When commitment is in question, there is no sense of safety in a relationship. Sometimes people avoid commitment due to fear of connection. However, if you fear commitment, you will prevent a deep connection with your partner. If you do commit, one of the ways that you can demonstrate commitment is by making your partner’s needs a priority in areas that touch his/her heart. This might mean putting your own needs on hold at times. You can also acknowledge and appreciate the ways your partner shows dedication. Pat says “A satisfying relationship is the single greatest predictor of success in life…an unhappy relationship can make your life miserable.” I say, “choose wisely.”